Short and Sweet – On Sale Now

Short and Sweet – On Sale Now

Check out this inspirational non-fiction anthology I am proud to be a part of.  It is called Short and Sweet: Small Words for Big Thoughts. It is edited by Susan King or the Upper Room and published by Grace Publishing.

 

What’s so cool about this, is the project itself.  Susan King asked me to write a piece for this anthology.  The rules, it had to be micro-fiction 150 words or less.  The words had to be one syllable and it had to be true and inspirational.  Whew.  I sat down and wrote my contribution in long hand on the back in my journal.

 

Buy the book here:

 

Look for Volume 2 coming out soon.

My Husband’s Hands

My Husband’s Hands

I had a dream the other day. It doesn’t seem like much, and to most people it probably wouldn’t be a big deal. But the dream has been bugging me all week.

In my dream, I am with my husband, BigTough, and his new family (which he doesn’t have in real life – totally make-believe) at a local ice cream shop. He has a notebook full of things from his youth, stories he has written, and ribbons he has won in track and field. He has a little screen with him. He pops in a home movie to show his new family. In the video I see close-ups of different art projects he worked on as a child, and report cards. All the things that represent his history. Then I see a close-up of him shuffling through papers.

Up until this point in the dream, I was fine. I sit across from his new bride with a big smile on my face. But when I see his hands I lose my mind.

Those hands are supposed to hold my hands.  Those hands are supposed to wipe away my tears. Those hands are supposed to run up and down my back when he holds me crying after our nest is empty.

Those hands are mine.

Now I don’t have a clue what this means, Except that I love him. I guess people put so much stock in what others look like, and what they themselves look like, when it’s something greater than that that makes a person beautiful.

I love my husband’s hands. I love them most when they’re holding mine.

My husband is handsome.

But you should see his hands.

Happy New Year

So after several tumultuous years away from my blog, I’m coming back. 2017 is the year of personal growth for me.

I’m not making resolutions. I’m just moving forward on those items I’m wanting to do/change/grow.

For me personally, 2016 sucked. On many levels. So change is good. And needed.

But before I can look too far ahead, I want to say a quick goodbye to many we lost in 2016.

https://youtu.be/DD1mxPBHqc4

Free Fruit and Other Things to Get Excited About

Free Fruit and Other Things to Get Excited About

Free Fruit and other Things to Get Excited About

Today was really cold. When I woke up it was 16 degrees with a wind chill of -4. Well needless to say I did not go walk or even step outside to go to my mailbox. I mean wow — not the usual weather for north Texas.

School was closed so I didn’t have to go to work. I decided to spend a great deal of my day connecting with friends. It is always fun to touch base with friends you don’t get to see regularly.

One friend mentioned a big four letter word — DIET. I refuse to call what I am doing a diet because of all of the negative implications that ugly word brings to mind. And quite frankly I haven’t yet encountered a single thing I am not allowed on this program. The only thing required of me is accountability. So no, I do not count WW as a diet. I often refer to it as a program but not a diet.

My friend then proferred a wealth of advice and went on to tell me about the wonderful new diet she is on. Why, she has lost an amazing 18 pounds already since the second week in January. At first my ears pricked up and I thought “amazing, I want to lose 18 pounds in a month”

She went on to tell me she had found a miracle product which “Really works”.

I’ve never believed in a magic pill or in this instance a liquid that would work magic. Like people always say; I didn’t get this way overnight — I cant become thin overnnight either.

Amazed but now a little suspicious I went on to ask her more.

Me: Do you have to spend hours in the gym?

Her: “Oh no, I don’t work out at all.”

Me: How often do you take this miracle product?

Her: Just a few times a day, super easy to remember because you are so motivated by the outstanding results!”

Me: “Is it expensive?”

Her “ No, as a matter of fact, my food bill went way down.”

Then she added:

“All I have to do is limit my food intake to 500 calories a day.”

What?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

With WW we don’t count calories — as a matter of fact, I’m sure I would find that if I did count calories I would see that my free fruit alone is more calories than she is allowed all day. I suddenly felt sad for my friend.

I don’t know about you, but that is not how I want to live. What happens when she is finished with her diet and tries to eat real food again? She hasn’t learned anything in this process and her old habits will return — only this time probably ten fold since her metabolism will be wrecked.

At first WW seemed slow and I wasn’t sure I would have the patience for it. I mean 1 lb a week seems like a lifetime when you have over 100 pounds to lose.

Now, as I sit here with my tummy full of turkey chili verde and a whopping 8 points left in my day I contemplate dessert. It won’t be big. It need not be big to make me feel complete and stated. Maybe a ginger cookie and a glass of milk.

I am thrilled with WW and the fact that I don’t have pressure to lose 18 pounds in one month. I am thrilled that I am learning how to control my portions. I am thrilled that the accountability portion of the program isn’t as scary as I thought it would be.

So here’s to free fruit and veg. I am so thankful now, every time I have (a) banana, blackberry, tomato, carrot, strawberry, apple, peach, pear, cabbage, orange, mango, raspberry, pineapple, green-bean, bell pepper, broccoli, celery kiwi, watermelon, spinach, grape, clementine, tangerine, grapefruit …

Honey, Could You Make Fried Chicken …

Honey, Could You Make Fried Chicken …

Honey, Could You Make Fried Chicken and Mashed Potatoes with Gravy?” . . . Seriously?

You ever have one of those days where you think things are going downhill only to find out they are exactly the way they are supposed to be?

I love my husband. I REALLY love my husband, but one of the issues I have identified as being a part of my weight problem is that not only do I love food, but my husband does too. Neither of us is strong for the other when it comes to food. All it has ever taken for a diet to fail is for one of us to suggest dinner out “just once more before we get serious about our health”.

Well, today is day three on the program. My husband has been good, eating what I’ve been eating and surely he will see some benefit. Then today he asked for fried chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy. He also put in his request for the weekend. He asked for homemade Irish stew with homemade rolls, chili with cornbread and a number of other yummy things. I was so frustrated I was close to serving him the toy versions in the pic. (but I’ve gotta remember he wouldn’t want the green beans — ha)

I know there are healthier versions out there, and as good as that sounds, it is NOT what he wants. I told him things are going to be different. I told him that eating like that once in awhile would be fine, but we can’t eat like that every day. (I’ve home cooked 1-3 meals a day forever!) then I sat back and waited for the complaining.

It never came! He thought about it and I guess he realized I am serious and that we really need to see to our health. He finally came back with — “you wanna try a lean ground turkey chili with beans so we have more fiber?”

I was shocked. I couldn’t believe it. All these years I thought there would NEVER be a day he would eat something like that and here he was open to compromise. I sold my husband short presuming he would react a certain way if I pushed my health goals onto him. How sad that I didn’t give him the benefit of the doubt. How many years earlier might we have tackled our health issues if we had just kept the lines of communication open instead of presuming to know what the other would want.

I guess my message to all of you is “Speak up for yourself and give your significant other the benefit of the doubt…you shouldn’t have to this alone!”

Faulty Reflection?

Faulty Reflection?

Faulty Reflection?

Sometimes I forget I’m a big girl. I’m not talking big bones — I need to lose about 120 pounds. Yet, I find myself smiling at an attractive man or walking with a little too much pride or (God help me) even swaggering and thinking I look good.

I can see my reflection easily enough every time I look in the mirror or pass by a shiny window with the latest fashion displayed— only it isn’t what I feel on the inside. And as I stand looking at little, cute, attractive clothes I realize they aren’t for me — sew them all together to make one big one and it still wouldn’t fit me.

I, from the inside looking out, am fun and bubbly — sexy and confident — able to go through life happy, and for the most part this is true, but then I ask myself — “why am I big?” if these things are really true — with NO lies or defensive measures to protect me attached to them, then WHY AM I BIG?

I love food and eat because I enjoy it. Also, I eat emotionally. I eat when I’m happy, sad, bored, frustrated, anguished, nervous, seemingly satisfied and for every other emotion I can think of. This is why I’m big or at least this is the excuse I tell myself everytime I think too long or hard on the subject.

Losing weight is the beautiful side effect of this journey — finding out the “why” is my purpose because without knowing “why” I eat, the cycle will not be broken. How can a seemingly adjusted person, whom everyone thinks is on top of things, be so out of control?

I’ll let you know when I find out.