My Brain is Hungry
We ate dinner at a restaurant which does not have nutrition info posted, available or on-line. I did my best with the tracker to come up with point values. In order to err on the side of caution, I upped the points values to be sure I was covered, so today’s tracker total is completely padded.
Even with the extra padding I put in the tracker for my points, I ended the day within my daily range and am feeling pretty good. However, I’m hungry. Now my WW leader Lori says you need to decide if you are tummy hungry or head hungry — in other words are you truly hungry or is it just your head telling you to eat for one reason or another. Well, I thought long and hard and realized I am not tummy hungry. As far as my tummy goes, I am totally satisfied, but my brain keeps telling me I need more.
I could back off the points padding I did on the tracker and eat something else, but I am trying not to eat for the sake of eating. The dilemma is I really don’t know why I am wanting food so badly right now. Quite frankly, I’ve been wanting stuff all day. It started int he teacher’s lounge when all of the teachers were gifted with a box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day. I stayed out of them. Then when I took my daughter to swim team practice, the fried chicken place across the street was cooking up yummy things and the parking lot smelled delicious.
I’m not sure what is happening today but maybe it is a sense of anxiety. I’m anxious about my family coming to visit this weekend. I’m also about to start my cycle and that always makes me hungry and I overall don’t have a sense of ease about things. Yet I couldn’t tell you exactly what is making me freak out. I just wish when things get tough I wouldn’t reach for food.
Maybe it is just this is week 2 of WW and the first week came so easily because we were snowed in (by Texas standards, for the week and school was closed and I didn’t have to get into a new diet and my old routine at the same time, while this week I do.
So here I am getting ready for bed thinking about the big box of chocolates on my kitchen counter. I’m thinking about how great donuts would be for breakfast. I’m thinking about how id love to prepare a huge BBQ feast for my brother this weekend. I’m thinking about everything I shouldn’t be thinking about.
I know someday I will succeed and I won’t weigh a bajillion pounds anymore, but I’m wondering will I ever be able to escape this hold food has on my every waking moment. I’m truly a slave to my addiction and am wanting to break free.
I really expected the hard stuff to come later when I was sick of WW and sick of dieting. I really love the program now and am excited about a new life. However, I can’t help but wonder, should it be this hard this soon?